Memory Office: B. Shirin

Bella Shirin, a Jewish resident of Kaunas tells about her native city, where she lived for the first seventeen years of her life, and whose longing encouraged her to come back very recently after long years of absence. Bella shares her memories about her poor childhood during the postwar years, which was full of beautiful moments nonetheless: making matzos with her uncle's family, the Christmas tree she demanded for, books revealing a more beautiful world and moments from the lives of people who got along so well.

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“My father loved the prewar Kaunas so much. And during the Soviet times, streets in our home were called by their pre-war names. There was then Stalinas Avenue, but he did not use this name.”

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“I was born in Vasario 16-osios Street. I remember a semi-destroyed house above the Central Bookstore. There were talks that it must be rebuilt. I grew up after the war, I did not have any toys, maybe a rubber ball, a ragdoll and a wooden house of indescribable beauty made by my father's friend Jonas. That was my pride. No one else had anything like it. On the ground floor of the destroyed house, there was a toy store. There was a manager of that store who had a girl of my age and we became friends. During the break, she used to invite me and we played in that shop. It was my greatest blessing. I simply lived from one meeting to another.”

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“My uncle lived in Gardino Street. He learned how to make matzos at home. He had some device. Before Pascha, the Jewish Easter, he turned it on, and all children of the family had to stand and guard it. The door was closed, and we made matzos. All family gathered for the holidays. We celebrated it thoroughly: with prayers and all traditions. I wanted to celebrate Lithuanian holidays as well. For example, I wanted a Christmas tree, just like all other children, but I was told that Jewish people do not have a Christmas tree. And I insisted that I want a tree as a human being, not as a Jewish child. I stopped eating. Finally, I found a Christmas tree at home with lights and toys. This was one of the most beautiful days of my life. I won it. Then I understood that if I want something, I can achieve it.”

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“My parents used to tell me that after the war, they were forced to work, and there was nothing to eat in the ghetto. Lithuanian guards allowed them to go out with empty bags to the villages. And all Lithuanians shared their last food and gave them something. He also told me about the concentration camps: how one person stole a piece of bread and was hanged in front of everyone. Afterwards, they made all people play music and dance. It was a horrible mockery. There was nothing to eat and diseases were storming... My mother knew some German and how to sew. And my father repaired clocks. This helped them to survive. They said that those who were rich before the war, did not survive. Those who had some profession, those were the ones to stay alive.”

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“When my parents were liberated, they were already naked in front of the gas chambers, stripped of all their clothes. It was a matter of minutes, when the bombing started, and the Germans ran away. It was a miracle. When she was freed, my mother weighed 34 kilograms. When she became pregnant, the doctors said that the baby would not be born. But doctor Mažylis created a miracle and I was born.”

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“My mother was crying all the time... She had a lovely voice, during celebrations, we asked her to sing. I did not see her happy in other cases. I was her entire world, she took a deep interest in my studies, helped me with my homework. She used to constantly clean the house, iron... Sometimes girls from the village came to help her. Because she would not rise from her bed for weeks. But when she could do something good for another person, it seemed that she woke up; it gave her strength, if someone was sick or needed some consolation. My father repaired clocks and sold them, but not speculated. He used to travel around to Tallinn, Riga, Moscow...”

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“I used to write letters to Khrushchev: I asked him, pleaded him to allow us to go to Israel. I did not realise how hard it was going to be. I understood it only when we received the permit. I knew that that I would not come back... But as a child you probably don't think that much. What a preparation it was! Lithuanians, Jews, all flew to us asking how did you manage such a miracle to happen? We departed in December...”

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“I remember Kaunas as a very vivacious place, full of art and parties... Certainly, there were good things and bad things. But this was simply the survival. You do not always think about not being free. So, you immerse yourself into the world which is more beautiful. Find refuge in another world. To me, it was books, books at night. I was looking for the answers why I was born... I have found the answer late, only now. But it is a proper one. I was born for the others. I cannot manage otherwise, it is a necessity for me.”

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“The Jewish nation had plenty of joy, even though they suffered more as well, they were more open. Maybe hard times made people to be more united. Now the neighbours seem very distant from one another... We try to do it in our yard. But it requires a lot of time, especially with the people of my generation. They are mistrustful, still not completely free from the Soviet Union...”

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Bella Shirin

Bella was born in 1946, Kaunas, the family of Roza Danelytė and Iseris Šifrisas. The girl's parents met during the pre-war period, and survived the war and all of its atrocities, like the ghetto and concentration camps in Germany, together. When most of the liberated people left for America, they came back to live in Kaunas and planned their future here. In Kaunas, their baby girl arrived and when she was seventeen, the family received a permit to go to live in Israel. Later, Bella lived in the USA, but missing her native Kaunas; she came back to live here several years ago.

Date of the interview: June, 2017